Insecure Because Its Going Great ("I hate Goodbyes")

Is it so weird that I feel so scared because things are going well...like too well... like he's gonna break up with me soon. I can sadly see it coming. Its too good to be true. So as you can conclude I dumped the sloppy guy, and went for the gorgeous, dry kisser, which has evolved into some of the best kissing I have had. We made it offish on valentines day. Go figure that was the day that Sloppy freaked out and I had to break up with him.. again! I was so over him! Anyways, I'm dating Mr. Right and I keep getting this weird feeling, it usually comes when we're parting ways. Its usually a look like, "what am I doing.." So lately when I feel like that I start to pull away more. He's my boyfriend but I'm just waiting for him to wisen up and realize that he got into a relationship without even knowing me. I'm not dissing on myself, I know I'm a catch. Its just usually the guy figures it out after we break up. I usually get treated like shit and I put up with it forever and then I snap and end it and then the guy comes crawling back, but the thing that's different is that they will, and still are, willing to do anything to win me back. I think I'm so used to my love life sucking that its throwing me off that I think he likes me. I just hate that feeling I get when I leave. I need to have that feeling like I need to push him to go home, not the other way around. I need to get him to chase me again, I think he still kinda is, but I need to let him do it more, give him more space and time to miss me.

This is him... lovely, and of good report and praiseworthy..
Sad that I honestly don't ever see myself getting married, at least to someone I really like. Last night we were making out and I wanted to turn away and cry because it was too good to be true. And I honestly believe that, I'm the girl that people date- not marry. And I'm so tired of dating and being vulnerable.